


Insecurities

by LyriaFrost



Series: OT6 AU [9]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-11 19:38:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyriaFrost/pseuds/LyriaFrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>6 times the boys felt insecure about their place in their relationship and 6 times the others set them straight.  Mostly set in my OT6 AU, will reference some of my past works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gavin

**Author's Note:**

> I just really really wanted to write some sickeningly sweet angst/fluff and have some stories of the boys reassuring each other.

Gavin often felt very insecure with his place in the group. He didn't believe that anyone could ever stay around very long. After all, he was incredibly annoying. He never realized it at the time, but when he went back and listened to himself on videos, or heard stories about what he did at parties, he would get incredibly mad at himself. He simply thought he sounded incredibly stupid, and he knew it would only be a matter of time before his lovers figured that out and left him. 

So Gavin tried to make himself incredibly useful. He tried to stop talking so much, he tried to only make intelligent comments when he spoke, he cleaned up after himself, and always deferred to the other lads when they argued over videogames and TV shows. Then one day, he decided that he was going to try to cook dinner for the other boys, because Ryan had been busy all day and he was the one who usually cooked. So while all the others were outside, Gavin gathered up his ingredients and his cookbook and started working on some of his lovers' favorite dishes. But from the very start, everything just kept going wrong. 

First, he dropped the eggs on the floor and some shattered everywhere. He managed to knock over a bowl full of tomatoes, dropped a rolling pin on his foot, and then when he tried to drain the water from the pasta, he accidentally dropped the pot and dumped all the pasta in the sink. The final straw came when he tried to pull his carefully prepared dish from the oven and managed to burn his hand and drop the pan, shattering the glass and leaving food all over the kitchen floor. Gavin simply collapsed against the cabinet, crying and cradling his burnt hand. Just then, Michael and Ray came in to check on the meal. 

"Gavin! Gavin, what's wrong? What happened to your hand? Ray, go get the gents." Ray ran out the door as Michael carefully sank down next to Gavin, ignoring the food splattered about. 

"Michael? I fucked up, Michael." 

"No, Gavin, you didn't, it's alright." 

"It's not alright! I screwed it up, I made a big mess and I couldn't clean it up before you all saw and now you're all going to be mad at me and you're going to make me leave!" Michael heard a little gasp, turning to see Ray and the gents standing in the doorway to the kitchen. They all came over to kneel around Gavin, all putting a hand on some part of his body. Ryan leaned forward to kiss Gavin on the forehead. 

"We aren't mad at you, darling. People make mistakes, it just happens sometimes." 

"But it wasn't just one mistake, it's just me... I'm a mistake... I'm a mistake and I don't belong here." 

"You do belong here, we all love you, buddy. Don't talk like that." Gavin scrambled up, pulling away from everyone else. 

"No, I'm an awful person, I'm annoying and stupid and a pain and everyone just yells at me all the time and I've been trying to hard to be different... to be quiet and useful and smart instead of... instead of me, but I screwed it all up." The five other men stood quietly and listened to Gavin yell, but when he was done, they all stood up and Jack carefully approached him. He wrapped Gavin up tightly in his arms and spoke directly into his ears. 

"Is that why you've been so different lately? You don't have to change at all, sweetheart. None of us think you're annoying, and we don't think you're stupid either. We've all seen the intelligent, sweet, loving man inside you, and we all adore the silly, fun personality that you display to the rest of the world." Ray came up and grabbed Gavin's face, making him look closely into his eyes. 

"Now I know I'm the quiet one, but I want you to listen to me carefully, alright? We don't think any of those bad things about you, we won't ever leave you like that, and certainly not just because you accidentally dropped dinner." Geoff, Michael, and Ryan came up to the rest of the group. 

"We love what you tried to do, bud, but don't ever feel like you have to do anything except be yourself to keep our love." 

"Come sit over here at the counter so I can look at your hand, darling." Ryan led Gavin over to the counter, the younger boy realizing that he had been cradling his hand tightly this whole time and that it really really hurt. The other four set about cleaning up the kitchen. 

"Hey Geoff, can we order a pizza tonight?" 

"Sure, Gav, that sounds good. Just the usual?" 

"Yeah..." The five boys talked and laughed as they cleaned everything up, Gavin having been left at the counter due to his burned hand. He simply sat and watched the others, wondering how he could be so lucky to deserve not just one of these men, but all five. Gavin didn't speak again until they were all ensconsed on the sofa, watching some shitty movie, with pizza boxes and beer cans scattered about. 

"Guys?" 

"What's up, Vav?" 

"I'm sorry..." 

"Sorry for what?" 

"Well... partly sorry for ruining dinner tonight. But also sorry for not believing in you more... I- I really love you guys." Everyone snuggled closer to Gavin, wrapping him up securely, trying to impart love and safety to the younger man. 

"Don't worry at all about dinner, sweetheart." 

"And don't every forget that we love you just as much as you love us, right babe? Just be yourself." 

"Yeah... right..." Gavin resolved to try to a little harder to be a better person, but also to still be himself, and to never distrust his lovers again.


	2. Geoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is definitely related to my OT6 AU, but correlates to a part of the story that I haven't really released yet. All you have to know is that instead of going to college, Geoff enlists in the Army, and stays there until Ray graduates from college. Instead of being a photographer, I decided to throw him on the front lines, for reasons that will be revealed in another story I'm also working on.

Geoff sighed as he stood shirtless in front of the mirror, turning this way and that to get a good look at his body. He wasn't a vain man, by any means, but when surrounded by five incredibly attractive men, it was easy to compare himself. And even easier to find himself lacking. 

"Ugly. So fucking ugly." Now, in his younger years, Geoff had been well aware that he had been a fairly attractive man. But the eight years he spent in the army had taken their toll on him. It was only recently that he had been discharged, and he'd only been living in this little home for a couple months now. Now when he looks in the mirror, all he can see are the scars dotting his body. They come from a variety of sources - there's a long line on his chest where he got hit with shrapnel from a mine, there's a vague circle shape on his side from when he half-impaled himself on a pole during a nighttime raid. And littered between all of them are many tiny white circles and thin lines from all the bullets that he managed to catch during all those years on the front lines. 

He stands there and he thinks that everyone else is still so perfect. They're all older than they were back in high school when they all got together. But Gavin's still got those glittery green eyes and Michael's hair is a wonderful shade of red and Ray makes the cutest expressions when he tries to concentrate on videogames. And Jack has his big fluffy beard and Ryan has the kindest blue eyes. And then there's Geoff. 

He lightly tugs on his dark brown hair. It's wiry, and always sticking up weirdly, and somehow always looks a little dirty, he thinks. And his eyes are such a plain and boring grey color, and they always look tired and haunted by the things he had seen. He used to be slim, but the couple months of inactivity (and Ryan's amazing cooking) have given him more than a few pounds of padding where he used to be pure muscle. Geoff is still standing there, staring and hating himself, and doesn't notice the other man coming up behind him until there's a pair of arms winding around his waist. Speaking of glittery green eyes... 

"Gavin? What are you doing awake?" 

"I think that's a better question for me to be asking you, love. It's bloody two in the morning, I don't even get up this early, what are you doing awake?" 

"I'm... nothing- I was just..." Gavin nuzzled into the back of Geoff's neck, tightening his arms around the older man's waist. 

"Geoffrey..." 

"You know I fucking hate it when you use my full name." 

"And you know I don't bloody care. You also know that I know that tone very well... why are you doing this to yourself?" 

"I don't- I don't know what you mean, bud." Geoff was surprised when Gavin twisted him around so that they were facing each other. 

"After years of living with myself, I know very well when the people I love are being insecure." 

"I'm not-" 

"Don't lie to me, love." Geoff finally sighed and slumped forward, burying his head in Gavin's shoulder. It was strange to have the younger man at the same height as him, something he was still trying to get used to. So much had changed in the eight years he'd been mostly gone. 

"Fine... I just- I can't stand all the scars. I came back from the war and you all still looked so perfect and young and... I dunno, I just don't fit. I have all these marks on my body and my soul and they make me so ugly now." Gavin dug one hand into Geoff's hair, using it to pull the older man back so he could press their lips together. When he pulled off, he brought both his hands to Geoff's face, pressing their foreheads together. 

"Now you listen to me and you listen well, Geoffrey Ramsey. You are a gorgeous man- hell, you're one of the five most attractive men I've ever met. You've got hair that has a mind of it's own, and eyes that express everything you're feeling. And you have the most wonderful laugh, it makes everyone happy. You're the only one who can control Michael, the one who can easily chase away Ray's nightmares. You're the one that Jack turns to for support and you're the only one that can talk Ryan down from his rare moments of rage. And you're the one who makes me feel the safest. You are amazing and wonderful inside and out." 

"Gavin..." 

"I'm not done yet." Gavin smiled and gently kissed Geoff again, wiping away the few tears that had appeared on his face. "And every one of those scars is a reminder of the sacrifices you made to keep your country, and everyone you love, safe. And every one is a reminder to me that you are a beautiful person, that I'm so lucky to have someone so selfless in my life. And they're a reminder of everything that makes you who are you, everything I love about you." Geoff wrapped his arms around Gavin tightly, pressing his head into the younger man's neck as he struggled to bring himself under control. It wasn't often that Gavin showed off this side of him, but it always humbled Geoff to see it. And he always knew Gavin was right. No matter what Geoff thought of himself, his lovers thought he was just as perfect as he thought they were. Gavin just held him, running a hand through his hair and holding him close. 

"Thanks, Gav... you're right, I'm just being stupid." Gavin pulled back and laughed lightly. 

"Yeah, but you're our silly little sausage, so it's quite alright." Just then, Gavin yawned. "Bugger all, I forgot how early it is." 

"Speaking of which, why are you awake?" Geoff laughed when he saw Gavin blush just a little. 

"Well... I missed you. It never feels right when it's not all six of us in the bed." Geoff smiled. 

"Then back to bed with you." Gavin got a little mischievous smirk, and Geoff groaned internally. That smirk was never something good. He yelped as he suddenly found himself with an armful of grinning Brit. 

"Take me back to bed, Geoffrey." They both laughed as Geoff obliged, carrying him back into the bedroom. 

"You're fucking heavy as dicks, dude. Maybe you need to lay off those fried things you love so much." 

"Oi, that's not very nice!" As they got to the bedside, Gavin got serious again. He reached his arms up and pulled Geoff down for a sweet little kiss. "I love you, Geoff." Geoff tucked them both into the bed, pulling Gavin into his arms and holding him tight. 

"I love you too, Gav." With that, they both fell back asleep, Geoff's insecurities entirely forgotten, replaced by thoughts of the wonderful boyfriends he had given his all for.


	3. Jack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration for these stories always strikes me at the oddest moments... usually in the middle of class...

Jack sat on the floor in the bedroom, surrounded by opened boxes, most missing half of their contents. He could hear the rest of his boys yelling and laughing out in the kitchen, attempting to make dinner. But Jack was wrapped up in his own little world. While emptying some boxes into their new home, he had come across a box full of stuff just belonged to him and Geoff. It was all stuff from before the other four became part of their relationships. Ticket stubs from trips to the amusement park, bits of memorabilia they had picked up , the stuffed toy that Geoff won him after an hour and $30 spent playing the crane game at an arcade. And underneath all that, were two large scrapbooks, filled with photos. Jack flipped through the books, remembering exactly where each photo had been taken and what had been going on the time. 

"Jackie? Whatcha up to in here? Thought you were gonna come help make dinner." 

"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry, Geoff. Just got wrapped up in some stuff I found." Geoff came over and sat next to Jack, grabbing the other photo album. 

"Whatcha got here? Jesus, I remember this stuff. Feels like a lifetime ago, huh?" 

"Yeah..." Geoff looked over at Jack, studying the other man for a moment. Though Jack looked perfectly fine, Geoff could see the glint of sadness in his eyes and noticed the way his fingers trembled as he turned each page. 

"Hey, Jack... remember all those years ago? Back when it was just you and I? Two best friends, raised together... we somehow just feel right into a relationship and never even noticed the change." 

"Geoff-" 

"Nope, no interruptions yet." Geoff reached over and pulled the album from Jack's hands, climbing up so he was straddling the other man's lap. "Do you remember what I told you, that first night when all six of us slept in the same bed? The same night that you and I really figured out that it wasn't just us, we had four other people relying on us as well." 

"I- um..." 

"I told that I loved you, remember? That nothing I had would be possible without you, that you would always be that scruffy little orange haired kid that I fell in love with. You were the one who taught me how to love, and that remains true to this day. Everything I have, I have because I have you, Jack." Geoff could see the tears forming at the corner of Jack's eyes, but chose not to say anything. It was obvious that Jack was trying to figure out how to phrase whatever was going on in his mind. 

"It's so different now, Geoff. It's like... balancing Michael's anger, and Gavin's immaturity, and Ray's social anxiety... and there's so much other stuff, with you and Ryan and... I know you're always there, but sometimes it just feels like I've lost you underneath everything else their is in our lives right now. And sometimes I would love to just go back to those easy days when it was just you and I, spending entire weekends in bed together doing absolutely nothing. And then I feel awful because that means that I wish we didn't have the rest of them, and that's the last thing I would ever want. I just want something simple and easy again, like what I have with you." 

"I'm sorry, Jack... I didn't know you felt that way. Tell you what, we'll set it up so you and me have a night to ourselves, at least once every month but hopefully a couple times a month. Whatever you need, babe, alright? I promise, no matter how complicated everything in our lives is, there's nothing complicated between you and I. I love you and you love me and that's all that matters. Everything else just falls into place." 

"Thanks... I'm sorry, Geoff, I don't mean to be demanding of your time-" 

"Jack. Stop it, Jesus." Geoff leaned forward and kissed Jack sweet and slow, trying to show the other man the depth of the feelings between them. Just then, the door burst open and three figures tumbled in. 

"Geeoooofff... make Michael stop!" 

"Jack, oh my god, Gavin is being the most annoying little shit right now." Ryan stood in the doorway, laughing at the group of them. Ray simply lay on his back, half pinned under both the under lads, and tipped his head up to look at the two gents. 

"I have no complaints. I'm honestly not sure how I got caught in the bottom of this pile." Everyone laughed at Ray's no-nonsense statement, Gavin and Michael untangling themselves and dragging Ray upright again. Their argument already forgotten, the lads made their way back out the room, brushing past Ryan. 

"Well, I guess that settled itself then. Dinner will be ready as soon as I can get the lads to set the table, so head out soon before all the food is gone." 

"Will do, Ryan. Thanks." 

"Anytime, darling. You better wash those hands good after handling those dusty photo albums, Jack." With that, Ryan swept down the hall, and Geoff and Jack could already hear him yelling at Michael to "kindly keep your hands off that meat until the others are all here or so help me I will tan your hide, young man." Geoff and Jack laughed, still sitting on the bedroom floor. 

"Creepy southerner and his strict manners and weird punishments." 

"I agree completely, Geoff, but at least he keeps the lads in line." Geoff laughed as he stood up, pulling Jack with him. The bearded man was brushing lint off his pants when he noticed Geoff studying him rather intently. 

"Feeling better, babe?" Jack smiled, moving forward to wrap his arms around the other man and bury his face in his chest. 

"Yeah, thanks." 

"Not a problem. Anytime you need anything just ask, got it? There's no need for you to deal with thoughts like that alone, not when you have me and four other wonderful guys behind you." 

"I know, I'll try." 

"Good... and I'll talk to Ryan about leaving him with the lads once in a while so you and I can get away. So let's go get food, I'm starving, and there's no way I'm letting Michael beat me to that beautiful steak." Jack laughed. 

"We better hurry then. The threat of tanned hides will only hold them for so long." Geoff opened the door again, letting in a flood of light and sound and Jack could hear everything that was going on in the kitchen. And then Geoff reached out and grabbed his hand, and in that moment, Jack felt like everything was simple and easy again.


	4. Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I am having the hardest time coming up with good ideas for the remaining parts of this story. Also, this one turned out to be more than twice as long as the others. Oops.

Michael knew that he could be a scary person. With all the yelling and the cussing and his tendency to lash out at people around him. Not to mention the frequency with which he insulted the people he cared about. His only consolation was that those people knew that he didn't actually mean any of it, that it was just part of his personality, but sometimes he wasn't so sure. 

Times like when Gavin would flinch away from his fists, when Ray's smile would falter after an insult. Times when he caught Jack with an awful headache after a yelling fit, when he made Geoff jump with a badly timed scream, or when he woke Ryan up during one of the man's rare sleep cycles. Those were the times that made Michael scared that he was doing something wrong, that he was pushing people away. He was always afraid that they were going to leave him someday: that he was going to hurt one of them, physically or emotionally, cross some line, and they would all turn their backs on him. 

He tried so hard to keep it under control, but without realizing it, he started avoiding his boyfriends. Instead of yelling at Gavin for being stupid in games, he simply walked out of the room. Instead of getting mad that Ray was so much better at games, he just refused to play anymore. He avoiding talking as much as he could so that he couldn't give Jack headaches, make Geoff flinch, or wake Ryan. He didn't realize that the others had noticed what he had been doing, nor that he was hurting them by pushing himself away from them. 

It was late on a Friday night, and all six of them were gathered together in Ryan and Jack's apartment, playing videogames like they always did. Gavin was being an idiot like usual, and had somehow managed to kill Michael for the 5th time in as many minutes. Instead of yelling like he usually would and tackling the other man, he just disconnected himself from the game, saying that he was tired and going to bed early. The other five just watched him leave, not even sure what to do. 

"I'm sorry, guys... I thought I could get Michael mad like usual, and everything would be okay, but I think I muffed it." 

"Hey, don't be sorry, Vav. You didn't do anything wrong, but we do need to figure out what's wrong with Michael." Ryan growled quietly and stood from the couch. 

"Ryan, where are you going?" 

"I'm going to talk some sense into that idiot." 

"Ryan... are you sure you should be doing that?" 

"Someone needs to do it, and I think I'm the only one mad enough right now to get through to him. Just... stay here. I promise, I won't do anything I shouldn't." The others watched him leave, worry in their eyes, but Ryan was too preoccupied with what he was going to say to the Jersey boy. He strode up the hallway, his stockinged feet making very little noise in the carpeted halls. As he pushed open the bedroom door, he found Michael laying on the bed, his face buried in the pillow that Jack always slept on. Ryan felt some of his anger dissipate when he noticed that the younger man's body was wracked by occasional tremors, as if he was trying to hold back sobs. Ryan sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out to put an arm on Michael's shoulder. 

"Michael... we need to talk. I think you owe us an explanation for the way you're treating all of us." The curly head didn't move an inch, but Ryan could still his voice, muffled though it was by the pillow. 

"Why? Is there a problem?" 

"C'mon, darling, sit up and talk to me properly." Michael laid where he was for a moment more before shuddering and sitting upright, though he kept his eyes down on the bed. Ryan cupped his face and gently tilted it up so he could actually see Michael. 

"Just... please leave me alone, Ryan." The older man could see the sadness and hurt in the other's eyes, and wanted nothing more than to wipe them away, but first he had to make the man see what he was doing to all of them. 

"No can do, darling. We've let this go for far too long, but I can't let it go anymore. You've got everyone hurting now." 

"W- what?" 

"Can you not see it? You don't even sleep anymore, you sleep on the furthest edge and do your best not to touch anyone. You avoid all of us during the day, just sitting quietly somewhere unless you're in class. Jack is driving himself crazy with worry, Geoff is drinking even more than usual, Gavin is acting out more to get you to interact with him, and Ray is convinced that you hate him." 

"I don't- I didn't mean for that, you have to believe me, Ryan!" 

"I do believe you, Michael. But you owe us all an explanation for this. And we need to know what's going on, we just want to help you, but we don't understand what's going on." 

"I'm sorry... can we- can we go back out? I'd rather just explain this once." 

"C'mon, darling. Everyone is waiting for you in the living room." 

"You- knew that I would give in?" 

"No... honestly, it's worrying me that you're giving in so easily. It's not like the man I fell in love with. But I did know that I was bringing you back one way or another, because I'm tired of all this." 

"Okay..." The two stood up and made their way out of the room, back down the hallway. Ryan made his way back to the couch but Michael stayed standing in the middle of the room. 

"Alright, Michael, go ahead." 

"I- um..." 

"It's alright, sweetheart, just tell us what's going on so we can help." 

"I'm- I'm scared..." Gavin made a move as if to go to Michael, but Ray put an arm around him and held him back, all five of them staring intently at him. "I'm scared that I'm going to hurt one of you someday, and push you all away. I'm scared that I yell too much, that I'm too loud, too scary. But... most of all... I'm scared of- of becoming like my d-dad." This time, Gavin and Ray both made a move, standing and moving to Michael's sides to hug him tightly from both sides. 

"Don't be scared, Michael." 

"We trust you and we know you care too much to be anything like your dad." 

"Yeah, you're seriously one of the nicest guys ever under all the rage stuff, and we all know it." Michael could feel the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, but tried his best to keep them back. 

"I'm sorry, guys... I guess what I was doing was kinda stupid." 

"Kinda?" 

"Well... I thought that if I could pull away, I would be less likely to hurt you guys. Like giving myself fewer chances to be mean and angry. But I didn't think it would affect any of you like it did." 

"Next time, come talk to us, darling. We don't ever want you to change." 

"And believe us, if you take the rage too far, we aren't afraid to kick you down a notch. We aren't afraid of you." Ray spoke up quietly from where he still had his arms around Michael's waist. 

"We're just afraid of you leaving us." Michael wrapped his arms around the two lads. 

"I'm not leaving, I promise, I'm sorry I made you feel like I would or made you feel anything else bad..." 

"Do you- do you want me to stop... well, do you want us to help you not get mad so often? Cause we could- I could-" 

"No, Gavin, I don't want anything to change. Just keep doing the stupid things and I'll... I'll try to remember that it's okay to be loud and angry-sounding... I guess." The others could tell that Michael was reaching the end of his comfort zone and was starting to shut down now. 

"C'mon, we already finished playing the game, Ray won, again." 

"Big surprise ther- ow!" The men all laughed as Ray reached around and smacked Gavin in the back of the head. 

"Anyway, let's just watch a movie for a while." 

"Oh can we watch-" 

"No way, we're not watching your weird-ass shows, Ryan. I heard there's a new-" 

"Nope. I know exactly what we're watching, fuckers." Everyone was a little surprised to hear that word coming from the Jersey boy's mouth, as he had been very careful with his language for weeks now. "What? I gotta start somewhere, don't I?"

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments/questions/criticisms! Anything helps me improve my writing skills!


End file.
